Girl Scout Cookies Ranked From Worst To First

You have a lot of choices when selecting which flavors of Girl Scout Cookies to buy, but not all the choices are created equal. Here's the definitive ranking of Girl Scout Cookies, even some long-lost retired varieties, starting with the worst and ending with the best.

Toffee-Tastic cookies are gluten-free. and that fact is painfully obvious. These cookies are extremely crumbly, and not in a satisfying way. Instead, if the cookie hasn't crumbled before you  pick it up, it may fall apart before you can actually eat it.

The texture is kind of like eating a mixture of sand and chalk. If you don't keep your lips closed while chewing and swallowing, don't be surprised if a plume of cookie dust begins to emanate from your mouth.

To take matters from bad to worse, the flavor is lacking. There's not enough toffee in these cookies to be worthy of the Toffee-tastic moniker but just enough to get stuck in your teeth. To top it off, these bland cookies are salty. The saltiness is the primary flavor you'll taste after eating two or three of these things.

Even if Toffee-Tastic is the last variety of Girl Scout Cookies left when you're ordering, you should still pass.

A new variety of Girl Scout Cookies for 2020, Lemon-Ups are a home run when it comes to encouragement and motivation, as each cookie contains an inspirational message, such as "I am a go-getter" or "I am strong." While the words are noble and could bolster your day, that's about the extent of the list of positives when it comes to Lemon-Ups.

These cookies fail to pick a lane. Instead of being either a sweet treat or a delightfully sour goody, Lemon-Ups tried to achieve both, and the result is an unmitigated disaster. The first thing you'll taste when bite into one of these crispy Girl Scout Cookies is the sweetness from the iced bottom of the cookie, which is unpleasantly overpowering. Before your taste buds have time to adjust to the sweetness, you are hit with an equally pungent sour sensation from the soft top of the cookie.

While the multiple textures of Lemon-Ups is somewhat pleasing for your mouth and the inspirational messages could brighten your day, the actual taste of these cookies will have you regretting your choice.

If you like the combination of shortbread with chocolate, you may be tempted by Thanks-A-Lot Girl Scout Cookies. And visually, these cookies seem like the perfect selection. But once you try one, you'll realize the taste doesn't live up to the appearance. These cookies aren't bad, but compared to something like Milano cookies or even generic cookies you can find at Trader Joe's, Thanks-A-Lots are underwhelming.

The main issue with these Girl Scout Cookies is the fact that the chocolate fudge doesn't have enough flavor. Instead of a chocolatey rush, you only get a waxy disappointment. The shortbread is acceptable, but it doesn't make up for the depressing excuse for chocolate. The only thing that will help to keep your spirits up are the words "Thank You" on each cookie, in any of five languages including Swahili and Chinese.

Apparently, the Girl Scouts have gotten the message. because they are cancelling sales of Thanks-a-Lots as of 2021. Until then, if a Girl Scout offers you a box of these cookies, say no thanks.

Keep watching the video to find out more Girl Scout Cookies ranked from worst to first!

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Toffee-Tastic | 0:17
Lemon-Ups | 1:13
Thanks-A-Lot | 2:13
Lemonades | 3:11
Caramel Chocolate Chip | 3:59
S'mores by ABC Bakers | 5:00
S'mores by Little Brownie Bakers | 5:50
Shortbread/Trefoils | 6:45
Scot-Teas | 7:39
Juliettes | 8:15
Do-si-dos/Peanut Butter Sandwich | 9:04
Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs | 9:57
Thin Mints | 10:36
Caramel deLites/Samoas | 11:25